R-Evolution Against Pedophiles
“I feel disgusted about my Dad,
I get relief when he leaves,
When he comes back I feel bad,
Because what he does to me is so abusive.”
E l i s a b e t h N o n n e n m a c h e r
The lyrics above is my own adaptation of a children’s song “I Love my Daddy so Much”, I sang to my dad on Fathers Day once, when I was still in kindergarten.
My father used to tell me later that he would never forget my image of singing that song for him. This memory used to bring tears to his eyes, as it also happened on the occasion that I sang to him.
I know this adaptation will make him feel disgusted, but it does not come close to the amount of disgust I feel when I remember what he had done to me in my childhood…
E l i s a b e t h N o n n e n m a c h e r – Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse
Born in Estrela, RS, Brazil, in 14/12/1959.
Parents: Rogério Nonnenmacher and Vera M. Nonnenmacher
Grandparents: João Theobaldo Nonnenmacher † and Maria Kolling Nonnenmacher †
Oswaldo Mathias Kretzmann † and Melita Kretzmann †
Look carefully to the picture of the little girl above…
What do you see? Innocence, fragility, fear?
This is myself, when I was a child. Like many others, I wanted to be loved and happy.
A child, who wished she could have somebody to trust, without fear, without guilt, without sadness.
Do you think that, the child you see, could be the one responsible, for making her own father feel a passion without limits, that would make him desire her in a perverted way?
Do you think that, such a child was the one who made her father become a monster?
Do you think that, I have deserved to carry the guilt of making my own father abuse me sexually when I was a child and having to keep such a secret, so he could keep his image of a good father, trusted husband and a respected citizen in the community?
If you were in my shoes, would you be able to keep your sanity, if you had to subject yourself to be molested sexually on daily basis, since early childhood until your teenage years? Could you bear to be blackmailed to agree to subjecting yourself to do it, so your father would feel in the mood to go to work to be able to support the family?
Would you be able to forget such a past?
After all you read above, would you believe that a daughter could accuse her own father of child sexual abuse if this was not true?
Could you imagine, a father doing something worst than this, to his own daughter?
Can you imagine the pain, terror, anguish, despair and sadness of having a father like this?
Could you live with the memories of such a childhood in which everything you remember is full of memories of abuse?
Could you condemn a person for breaking the silence and exposing to the world the face of her abuser and for telling what many survivors of child sexual abuse have suffered during the years that should be remembered as the most beautiful and happiest, such as childhood?
My father destroyed everything sublime a child could wish!
He also killed the “Loving Daddy” that one day I dreamed I could have…
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